How the Story Ends
by ApplesandAlways
Summary: Severus and Narcissa start an affair to escape their realities. But will their escape fall apart when it starts clashing with reality. Will Narcissa be able to get past knowing she will never have his heart completely? Will she be able to handle his death? Rated M for strongly suggested and lightly detailed sexual activities. It's the story within the story.
1. Chapter 1

**Authors Note: This is a story based off of a video I made, How the Story Ends Narcissa & Severus. I was challenged by anon on tumblr to make the video and I thought of a plot for the video. The plot then formulated into this story because I didn't like how the video ended (it made my friends cry), and the video is around the middle of this story so if you watching from the video hold on a few chapters.**

**This story is Snarcissa, but it does not go against Snily. The only reason it goes against Lucissa is for the plot, not because I don't ship them. **

**This story has a timeline that correlates to the Harry Potter timeline, so no one cannot claim these events did not occur. Unless you have a stick up your ass, and throw the "but it wasn't in the actual books" argument. No shit, it's called fanfiction for a reason. I wanted it be as realistic as possible. I did a lot of extensive research so everything would line up correctly, and tried to use not only things from the books, but Pottermore, JK, and things the actors/actresses have said on their takes of their characters. The people who have had a sneak peek of the video/story, now can't watch or read the books without thinking it happened, so warning on that.**

**The only reason I took the appearance of Narcissa from the books is because of the video, but by all means picture the book version if you'd like. **

**The years will be going from Severus's first year at Hogwarts (1971) to the epilogue (2017). Any questions, just ask.**

**September 1****st****, 1971**

How The Story Ends

Chapter One

Severus sat down at the Slytherin table, his face long, and hands folded over in his lap. He was in the house he wanted but didn't know how this would work with his friendship, and undying love, for Lily. He looked across the table and saw a woman with half dark brown and half blonde hair, probably in her 4th year. She was wrapped in the embrace of a man a year older, he had almost white shoulder length hair.

She was looking up to his eyes with love, and sat up and kissed him. A girl a few seats down cleared her throat, causing the couple to pull apart. They separated, but it was clear they were holding hands underneath the table.

She looked directly at Severus, and he realized how beautiful the woman really was. Even as an 11 year old boy he knew she was the every mans dream. He assumed she was the prettiest girl in school, that everyone fawned over. Her face was flawless, and eyes kinder than anyone else's at the table.

She extended her hand out to Severus. "Hello, I am Narcissa Black." He shook her hand.

"Severus Snape," he introduced.

She turned to man beside her. "Introduce yourself," she told him. He turned his nose up. "Lucius, now." He sighed, and reached his hand out.

"Lucius Malfoy, pureblood," he introduced.

"Nice to meet you," Severus said.

"Yea," he said, and took his hand back.

Narcissa looked at Severus. "You seem gloom."

"I'm a gloom person," Severus retaliated. Narcissa smiled lightly.

"Well, you are in the best house in Hogwarts, forget what the others say."

"I know."

They all turned their heads, and watched as Dumbledore walked to his podium. He addressed the new students and classes. They ate, and were sent to their dorms.

Severus sat on the steps of the common room. It was past midnight, and no lights were on, minus the flashlight in his hand. He was reading the potions book he had been reading since he got it. He heard movement, and looked up, though he couldn't see anything. He heard laughing, and the common room doors open just as he turned off his light.

He saw Lucius entering the room, with the tip of his wand glowing. Narcissa was in his other arm. They couldn't see Severus in the far off corner. Lucius turned Narcissa around, and threw her into the wall. She thudded against it, and gasped, but held a smile. She reached out and brought Lucius's face to hers. She kissed him harshly, and he brought her leg around his waist. Her skirt was pushed up by his hand, and his lips moved to neck.

"Lucius!" She gasped. "We can't, not here," she said into his ear. He pulled away from her, with a snarl. "We should go to bed."

"Fine, but soon," he told her, gripping her hip.

"Patience is a virtue," she reminded him.

"Not when it comes to lust," he said coldly. She kissed him lightly.

"Goodnight," she told him. He walked off, and left her in the dark.

Severus could still hear her in the common room. She was breathing heavily, and trying not to cry. He could tell the tough exterior she had was a front for a broken woman. He stood, and she heard him.

"Who's there?" She called out. She pulled out her wand and lite the room up. "Severus, isn't it?" She asked seeing him. He dropped his book, and tried to catch it. "It's fine. Come over here."

He turned to walk away, but something about her voice drew him over. He crossed the Common Room and sat next to her on the couch. She was smiling up to him.

"Did you see all that?" She asked, her voice was sweet. All he could do was nod. "Why didn't you leave or stop us?"

"I… I, uh, didn't want to disturb you. I was shocked," he admitted.

"You are rather shy, aren't you?" He nodded again.

"I have to ask, why were you about to cry?"

"I wasn't about to cry," she stated.

"I know when someone is about to cry, and you were…"

"Hard life, eh?"

"That's an understatement."

She sighed. He was being so truthful to him, and something deep inside her told her to trust him. "I will tell you, but you can't tell anyone."

"I promise."

"I love Lucius very much, but I am worried about the man he is becoming. We've been going together for three years, but something has changed. He is darker…"

"Well, aren't we all. I mean, most of this house is racist."

She lifted her eyebrow. "You aren't?"

"I'm a half-blood, and my best friend has Muggle parents," he explained. "Are you?"

She thought for a moment. "To everyone I am, but truthfully I don't think I am… I pretend to be, but I don't think I fully am. I think they are generally gross, but not all of them are too bad. I don't have any problems with half-bloods." She huffed lightly. "I'm worried that Lucius will let his bias on Muggles, and mud-bloods, take over his life and cloud his judgment."

"Are you in love with him?"

"I'm sorry?"

"Well, there is a difference between loving someone, and being in love with someone."

She paused, to think. "I don't know. I think I do."

"Break up with him, then," he suggested.

She chuckled. "It's not simple."

"How?"

"When our parents found out we were dating, they arranged our marriage. I have to marry him to keep the blood line, or I will disowned."

"Oh," he whispered.

"Yea," she said. Her eyes drifted off into the darkness of the room. "I've never really had any choice in anything in my life."

"I'm sorry," he told her. She looked back to him.

"It's fine. I've learned ways to deal with life through my studies." She smiled lightly. "I am top of the school. Even above all the Ravenclaws." She shook her head. "I'm sorry, I am talking about myself."

"It's alright. I asked you."

She let out a small yawn. "We should probably go to bed. You are having your first day of studies tomorrow, and I will have to start studying for my O.W.L.'s. Goodnight Severus."

"Goodnight."

Narcissa dusted off the fallen snow off her shoulders as she made her way into the common room. She saw Lucius standing over Severus, his prefect badge gleaming from the fireplace's light.

"You need to decide what side you are on, Snape," Lucius spat at him. Narcissa walked over to them.

"What's going on?"

"Severus here is friends with a mudblood," he said. "I thought we could trust him."

"We can, you are going to judge him because he has a mudblood friend?" She asked him.

"How dare you defend that filth," he snarled.

"How dare you think you have authority over me?" She fought back. His hand swung across her face, and she collapsed to the ground. As soon as she hit the ground she took her wand out, and pointed it at him.

"Stupify," she cast, and sent him into the wall. She walked up to him, and stuck her wand under his chin. "You ever hit me again, and I will turn your head into a cake and eat it for desert. Got it?" He nodded. "Now apologize to Severus, your friend, for being so rude."

Lucius stood. "I'm sorry, Severus," he said, and rushed out of the room. Embarrassed that she had done that act in front of all his fellow house mates.

She moved over to Severus. "Are you alright?" She asked him.

"I'm fine. Are you?"

"Never better. Sorry about him, I don't know what's gotten up his pants this week," she said, and sat next to him.

"So, something is going on?"

"Yea, I think it has his father. I will talk to him."

"You probably should."

"What's this about the mudblood friend?"

He sighed. "Her name is Lily. I've been friends with her since I was 8, and we lived down the road from each other. She is the only person at home I could trust, and now she is in Griffendor. All her friends hate me, and all my friends hate her."

"And you are in a cross roads?" He nodded his head. "I don't know what to tell you, other than I'm sorry that your in this position. Why do you think I make everyone believe I'm heartless, other than to keep up appearances for my family, but so I never have to pick." She paused for a moment. "I can tell you one thing."

"What's that?"

"You are a Prince."

"Not a real prince, it's just my mother's last name."

"Don't think of it like that. Think of it as a real prince. You show your loyalty, and honor, and always tell the truth. You are a prince."

"A half-blood prince."

She lifted his hand. "My Half-Blood Prince, Severus."


	2. Chapter 2

**This chapter is short, sorry.**

**Also, be patient with me with these first few chapters. The affiar (and story) starts picking up very soon.**

**May 12****th****, 1973**

Chapter Two

Severus sat in front of Narcissa. Her hand ran through her hair, the large diamond ring gleaming lightly. Severus took a drink of his butter beer, and looked around. The Three Broomsticks was nearly empty. The only people in it were a few 5th year Ravenclaws that were studying.

"Hard to believe I'm almost out of here," she told him. "One more month of school. That's it." Her stunning eyes looked at him.

"I am going to be alone," he said, sadly.

"You will have fellow Slytherin's," she said.

"They don't like me. They all know I am friends with Lily. Only you and Lucius talk to me. Well, only you this year, because Lucius isn't here."

"Write to us…"

"When I can." He looked over and saw a couple making out in a booth. He sighed lightly. Narcissa looked over, and then back to Severus.

"What is it?"

"I've… I've never been kissed," he said bashfully.

"You are only 13," she said.

"You are 17?"

"Yes, but I turn 18 in July."

"And how old were you when you got your first kiss?" He tested.

She bit her lip. "Point taken." She lifted her eye brow. "You really want to kiss someone?"

"I do, but Lily won't kiss me." She shook her head, and smiled. "What?"

"Come with me, Prince," she said, grabbing her wrist. She began leading them to the bathroom.

"What are you doing?" He asked. She sh'd him, and shut the bathroom door.

"I will do this for you, but you have to promise to not tell Lucius," she offered.

"Do what?" She lifted her eyebrow. "Oh, uh, I promise."

"Remember I am only doing this to so you can say you have," she said. He nodded, nervous. She leaned in close to him, pressing her body against his, and kissed him sweetly. His hand touched her cheek, and she gripped his jacket. He turned his head, and moved his lips against hers.

She pulled away, and began breathing heavily. "Was that good for you?" She asked. His eyes were hazy, but her was able to make out a nod. "Good, we should probably head back to the train. Don't want anyone to know I suck you out," she said. He nodded again, and followed her out.


	3. Chapter 3

**June 1****st****, 1973 **

Chapter Three

Narcissa sat in the small room her and Severus had created years ago. She looked around the room, at the Muggle game boards and old assignments in the room. She would not lie, she would miss this room greatly. It was her and Severus escape when things grew hard.

She heard the door open, and watched Severus enter the room. He was trying to be silent but tripped over the lip of the door. She laughed slightly.

She stood and turned to him. "Let's go somewhere else tonight," she told him.

"Where? Won't we be seen?" He questioned.

"It's possible, but what are they going to do? Expel me?" She joked. Their graduation was tomorrow, and knew that they wouldn't. She grabbed his wrist, and dragged him out of the room.

She dragged him all the way to the Astronomy Tower. She leaned over the hole in the wall that let her see outside. She smiled up to the stars.

"Isn't it beautiful‽" She exclaimed. She lifted herself into the window, and sat on the ledge.

"What is, the sky?" He asked her.

"Yes, the sky. I really do love it so much. Knowing that the stars are hundreds of millions miles away. We don't even see where they truly are. We don't see their true colours. We only see what we want to see, and what they want us to see." She looked to Severus. "Don't you get the stars?"

"Uh, no. Not really."

"They speak without words. Their stories lay within their patterns and constellations."

"I didn't know you were so into Astronomy."

She gazed back to the stars. "I don't know why I am, but they just fascinate me."

"Why don't you try to teach Astronomy?"

"You know I would love to teach, but I want to teach something that is direct. Maybe I will though, I don't know. I don't think I will teach at all."

"Why? It is all you want to do. You want to share your knowledge to the next generation." He walked over to her, and rested his hand against the ledge. She looked back to him. Her skin shinning with the moonlight.

"Lucius doesn't want me to teach. He only wants me to have his children, and be a stay at home mother."

"He can't ask that of you."

"He never asked, more like demanded. It's fine though. I am sure once I have my own kids I will want to be a stay home with them." She sighed lightly. "I won't mind."

"I really don't get you," he said.

"What do you mean?"

"You are so willing to accept the life you have to live."

"Because it is what is right to keep the rest family together. If I left, my mother would only have Bella… I don't want to do that to my mother."

Severus laughed slightly. He never liked Bellatrix much, and neither had Narcissa.

"You are to kind, and forgiving, of a person," he told her.

"Thank you?"

"It's a good thing."

She looked down to the ground down by the lake. The chairs for tomorrow's ceremony already set up. There weren't many, but enough for each student.

"I can't believe that tomorrow is the end of Hogwarts for me," she whispered.

"I don't want you to leave."

"You'll still have Lily," she reassured him.

"I know, but she isn't in our house. I won't have anyone to hang out with outside of her."

"You'll do fine, Severus. I believe in you."


	4. Chapter 4

**July 10****th****, 1978**

Chapter Four

The ball room was full of people in elaborate dresses, and dressing robes. Masks covered their faces. All in their best, and most expensive attire.

They all looked up as Cygnus and Druella Black walked around the corner, with Narcissa in between them. They stopped at the top of the staircase, and all eyes looked up to her. Her dress was an emerald green ball gown. It had a slight drop waist, showing off her hourglass figure. It was strapless, and she was wearing matching green evening gloves. Her hair was pulled into a vintage early 1900s style, that mixed her blonde and brunette hair into curls. Her make-up, darker than usual, made her eyes pop even more, and wrapped with a black metal mask.

Lucius, who wore a matching outfit and mask, greeted her at the top of the stairs. He took her hand from her parents, and led his fiancé down the stairs. The crowd parted, and they began to dance in the middle of the ballroom inside Malfoy Manor. He held her close, and danced with exact steps. The crowd watched in awe, and envy. Envy over seeing what they believed was the perfect couple. Envy over both of their unmistakable beauty.

When the song came to an end Narcissa couldn't wait to get out of Lucius's hands. She was able to play this off by running over to her old roommates from Hogwarts as the next couple entered.

"It's so lovely to see you all," she said with a smile.

"You too!" They all said with genuine glee. But then Narcissa caught a boy with long black hair, and matching black dressing robe standing in the back. His mask was a simple black mask, that didn't hide his large nose.

"If you'll excuse me," she told them, and walked past them, lifting her dress up to walk. She moved over to him, and wrapped her arms around him. "I'm so glad you could make it, Severus!" She exclaimed.

"Miss the annual Malfoy Masquerade Party, I don't think so," he said with a smile. "I won't be able to make it here for your birthday in a few days, so here." He took out a small box from his rob.

Narcissa took it, and unwrapped the gift. A beautiful pair of special made spider earrings laid in the box.

"I love it," she said, and gave him a tight huge once more. Lucius walked up to them.

"There is my Best Man," Lucius said with a grin, and hugged Snape lightly.

"Nice to see you again, Lucius," Severus told him.

"You too."

"Are you ready for the wedding next month?" Severus asked.

"I think she's been pushing it off for too long," he said, and gripped Narcissa's side. He pulled her closer to him. She forced a smile, and looked to Severus. He could see the pain in her eyes.

"Well, I wish you both nothing but happiness," Severus said. "Would you guys like drinks?"

"Please," she said with a small smile. He moved quickly over to the buffet table and grabbed three glasses of wine. He walked back over to them, and handed each of them one. They moved to a table, and sat. Naricssa set the box on the table.

They began drinking their wine, and looked across the ballroom floor.

"Ten pounds someone trips in the next ten minutes," Lucius said. Narcissa smiled.

"Deal, but no magic making anyone trip."

"I'm in," Severus added. They waited patiently for someone to trip, until finally Severus stuck his foot out making the person in front of him fall and land in his date cleavage. She screeched, and pushed him off. The three of them at the table, were laughing uncontrollably. Severus handed Lucius ten pounds.

"That was worth it," Severus said, as the boy he tripped chased after his date. Lucius took the money, and continued to laugh.

The sever came around with a new batch of drinks, and they all realized they finished their glasses. They accepted their new drinks, and began joking again.

They joked for another hour and a half, and consuming large of amount of alcohol. Finally Lucius stood, and almost fell over. He chuckled at himself.

"I'm going to go to bed, before I pass out in front of everyone." He turned to Severus. "Nice to see you my friend." Then turned to Narcissa. He kissed her, reminding everyone there who she belonged to. "Goodnight," he said to all, and headed off to his room for the night.

Narcissa sighed, and looked over to Severus. "Would you like to dance?"

"Oh, I think I am to drunk to dance," he protested.

"Come on, just one dance! I have been sitting all night!" She pushed. He exhaled heavily.

"Fine," he gave in. He stood, and reached out for her hand. She slipped her hand in his, and he helped her stand. He led them to the dance floor. He turned towards her, placed on hand on her hip, and the other in a waltz position. They looked over to the others, seeing where the dance was, and quickly joined in. Their steps were in perfect time to the ones around them.

Severus dropped her other hand, and placed both on her hips. He lifted her, but his drunken footing took over. They both fell down to the cold marble ground. Narcissa began laughing uncontrollably, and he couldn't help but join her.

"You were right, you are to drunk to dance," she said through her laughed. She was laughing so hard she snorted, and her hand flew over her mouth. This small thing made them laugh even more. His hand rested on both sides of her, and his face was no more than an inch away. She stopped breathing, and looked into his eyes. She cleared her throat and he pulled himself off of her. He looked down at his already bruised hand.

"I think I broke my hand," he told her. She stood up, and helped him off the dance floor. She looked at his hand.

"Can you heal yourself?" She asked him.

"No."

"I don't have my wand with me… Follow me," she said. She went to the table quickly to grab his gift to her, and started out of the ballroom.

His heart sunk a little, the last time she said that he had received his first, and last, kiss. She remembered this bit as well, but still marched forward. She led them to her room at Malfoy Manor. She was staying there until the wedding, and then the house became theirs.

He entered her room, and it had large green walls, with 5 mirrors and large black marble furniture. She walked over to her desk, set the necklace on top, and picked up her wand from a secret drawer in the desk. She moved over to Severus, and closed her eyes. It was clear she didn't need words to do most magic. The purple in his hand floated from his hand.

She noticed how warm her hand was in his, and looked up to his eyes. They could see need in both their eyes. Need of love. Need of something more than the life they were dealt. She dropped her hand, and took off her mask. She stepped back, and then rushed to the bathroom. She slammed shut the bathroom door, and leaned over the sink. She turned on the tap, took off her gloves, and splashed warm water over her face.

She took a deep breath, and heard a knock on the door. She opened the door, and was not surprised to see Severus. What did surprise her was when she was pushed against her desk by him. She looked for his eyes, and found them gazing at her face. His hand wrapped around to the back of her neck. He kissed her deeply, and all their worries melted away. All worries about life, and what they knew was to come with the war ahead.

His hand moved over her chest, though it was blocked by her corset and bodice. She pulled away, and looked into his eyes. His hand was shaking, and she could feel it. They could still smell the liquor in each other's breath.

"I've never done this before," he confessed.

"Done what?" She asked, and felt his hand shaking over her breast. "Oh," she said, opening her eyes a little more. "That?" He pulled away, and around, ashamed and embarrassed.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have. I know you would never do that with someone like me. You are too beautiful, and deserve someone beautiful, like Lucius."

"You are beautiful to me. We deserve compassion, and carrying," she told him. "Something I know Lucius can never give to me." She grabbed Snape's arm, and made him face her again. "Something I know you can… When you kiss me, I forget my life and my reality."

"Me too… I know I love Lily, more than anything, but when I am with you I forget all the pain I've ever felt."

She smiled lightly. She lifted his hand, and placed it back on her breast. She leaned in close to his ear.

"I will help you," she whispered into his ear.

She kissed from his neck, back to his lips. Her left hand unbuttoned his dressing robe, and undershirt. She pushed the fabric off his shoulder. He broke away from her hand only long enough to take off his clothing. Once he placed his hand back in hers, her other hand was working on undoing her corset. He took his free hand, and helped her. She slipped out of her dress, and took in a deep breath, finally being able to breathe correctly. His hand now fully able to feel her skin.

She loved how soft his touch was, and how much it warmed her. She grabbed his wrist, and began dragging his hand down her body. She stopped at her hips, and then moved it backward to her back. She took his other hand, and moved it down her thigh. She had him lift her leg to his hip. Her lips clenched to his with desire. Her palms ran over his small frame. His hands began shaking again, and he dropped her leg.

He pulled away, scared. She smiled lightly at his shyness.

"You alright?" She barely got past her lips. She wanted him more than she'd wanted anyone else.

"I'm scared."

"I know, just follow my lead. You want something easier to start with?" She asked.

"If we could."

She grabbed his hand, and guided him to her bed. She laid across her bed, and Severus couldn't help but follow her. She grabbed the back of his neck, and led him downward till he was laying on top of her. She moved her legs to both sides of him and pulled away from his kiss.

"I'm ready," she told him. Once more he began shaking. "Severus, it'll be fine. You want this just as bad as I do," she said. She put her hands on both sides of his face. "I can feel you want this bad," she said, point out his hard shaft. He blushed. "There is nothing to be scared, or nervous, about. You can do this."

She kissed him again, and he let her words be his encouragement. was in the house he wanted bu He pushed himself into her, and she broke the kiss. She gasped heavily, and gripped the strands of his hair tightly. Her whole body moved with his.

"Did I hurt you?" He asked worried.

"No," she said with a smile. She opened her eyes, to match his. "Again," she begged, grinding her hips. He let a small moan escape his lips, and move inside her once more.

The morning climbed through the windows, and Severus lifted his head. He looked down to see Narcissa, his best friends fiancé, naked with his arm wrapped around her. The odd thing was, was he didn't regret a single thing from the night before. He felt glad, and relieved with her so close to him.

He couldn't believe such a beautiful creature had given herself up to him, in mind, body, and soul. His hand smoothed over her back, she stirred lightly. He didn't want to wake her, not yet. He wanted to gaze at her.

His mind drifted to thoughts of what life would be like with her. If he didn't love Lily. If Narcissa wasn't arranged to marry Lucius. What it would be like if things could be good for the both of them. He imagined having a few children running their home, casting spells. Being out of Voldemort's grasp.

He sighed, knowing this could only be a fantasy. He wished it could be true. Life would be easier that way.

There was a knock on her door, and she opened her eyes. She looked up and saw Severus in front of her. She grinned widely, at him. Another knock rang though her room.

"Narcissa," her mothers' voice called out from the other side. Narcissa's face dropped. She sat up, and searched for her robe.

"One moment, please," she yelled back. She looked over to Severus. "Hide," she whispered as loud as she could.

"Where?"

"I don't know," she said, with panic. She walked over to him, and pushed him off her bed. He fell to the ground with a thud. She ran to the door, and opened it. "Morning, Mother."

"Morning. What was that sound?"

"What sound?" She asked, nervous.

"It sounded like something fell."

"Oh, I tripped, is all," she lied. She rubbed her wrist, as pretending it is what caught her fall.

"Very well. I was coming down to see why you weren't at the breakfast table."

"I over slept. I think I will just miss breakfast today… Anything else?"

"Yes, we are going into London at 3 to get your dress fitted. It is your last fitting, so it probably best your missing breakfast."

"Will Bella be joining us? I didn't see her last night."

"That is because you disappeared before she arrived, but yes she will coming as well."

"Thank you."

Her mother walked away, and Narcissa shut the door. She ran over to her bed, and climbed over it. She saw Severus laying on the ground. His hand cradling his head.

"That hurt, you know," Severus told her. She chuckled.

"I'm sorry, if I hadn't answered soon she would have just entered," she reached out her hand, and helped him up. He sat beside her on the bed, and covered himself with her bedding. He tucked a piece of her hair behind her ear.

"Thank you," he said.

"For?"

"Last night. I can't explain to you how much it meant to me."

She smiled wearily. "I am to be married in three and a half weeks," she reminded him.

"I know," he looked down. "But I can never forget this."

"Me either. When I am with Lucius, it's just sex. Most of the time I don't even want to, but he guilts me into it… He only cares about his satisfaction, and the physical… I thought that is all it was. Last night, you showed me different. You showed me the emotion behind it. That when you do it with someone you actually care about, everything just washes away. All worries, and concerns. That the only thing that matters is that other person."

Severus grabbed her hand. "I wish we could have each other. That I wasn't in love with Lily, and you didn't have to marry Lucius. That we could be together, and everything would be okay."

"But I do have to marry Lucius, and you will never love anyone more that you love Lily," she said, with a sad tone.

"What if-" he stopped himself. "No, never mind."

"What is it? Tell me," she pleaded.

"We both know we cannot be happy in the lives we have to live with… What if we had each other to…" he trailed off.

"Escape to. Actually feel something other than hate and pain," she finished. He nodded. "Cheat on my husband? Severus, I can't…"

"Would you rather live with him, have only him… Never feel passion again?"

She bit her lip. "No," she whispered. "And you need to feel numb to Lily and James being engaged." He nodded, trying to hold back tears. "So, we are going to do this? Have an affair?"

"Well, when you put it like that-"he started, but she cut him off by pressing her lips against his again. She pushed him backwards against the bed, and climbed on top of him. She sat up, untied her robe and let it fall off her shoulders. "I will never get over how truly beautiful you are."

She smirked, and leaned down back down to him. Her lips moved over his, and her hands over his chest, up to his arms. She pinned his arms over his head, and pulled her mouth away from his.

"You have to be very quiet," she warned. He grinned and nodded.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: So, in the last chapter this "****was in the house he wanted bu" randomly got thrown into the chapter… I have no clue, in the slightest, how it was in there or where it came from. My apologizies it was there… Kind killed the moment, but every time I try to fix it it won't allow me too, so…. Whoops. It had to have been right after my final edits… I have no clue. **

**Also, I am adding a picture to the fan fiction, and hopefully it won't be taken down from copyright because I made it/photoshopped it but I don't own the actual photos.**

**August 5****th****, 1978**

Chapter Five

Severus watched from the side as Lucius kissed Narcissa passionately. It had never bothered him before, but now it made his stomach sour. Today though, today was the worst. It was Lucius and Narcissa's wedding day. They were at the reception and Lucius kept kissing her.

"Lets here it for the newlyweds," Cyngus exclaimed standing. The couple stood, and walked to the center of the dance floor.

Severus watched as Narcissa was a swirl of white. Her dress was white with a tight corset with a sweetheart neck, with lace covering the top. The sleeves, that reached from the middle of her forearm to just below the her shoulders. The skirt of the dress carried the same lace as the top seamlessly. It started before the corset fully ended making her hips full. The skirt was heavily pleated and ended in the middle of her calve. She wore platform white heels making her height even to Lucius. He couldn't help but fawn over her. Her grace, her strength, her everything captivated him.

"Severus," he heard Bellatrix say. He looked over to the dark haired woman. Her eyes gleaming with envy of her sisters attention. "Since my husband decided not to show, do you care to dance?"

"Uh," was all he could get out at first. He never like Bella, but her needed a reason to stop thinking of Narcissa. He stood, and took Bella's hand in his. He danced with her, but still thought of Narcissa. When they finished the dance he looked across the sea of people for the one that could brighten his day even more.

"Severus," he heard Bella calling him. He looked over to her.

"Yes?" He replied with a short answer. His eyes matching her sinister ones.

"You've stopped dancing," she told him.

"It's a new song."

She took a step towards him, her long black hair shinning in the light. She lifted her eyebrow, and huffed.

"Who were you looking for?"

"What does it matter to you?" He tested her. She looked up to him, and grew a look of hatered on her face.

"It doesn't mean anything," she said coldly.

She turned and walked away from him, which only pleased him. He pushed through the crowd of people out of the tent. He walked into the Great House of Black, where the wedding was held in honor of the Black's giving their daughter away. He opened the back door, and heard a pair of footsteps of in the distance. He followed their sound till they reached the bathroom. He stopped in front of the door, and he could hear crying. He knocked on the door and heard a sniffle.

"Someone is in here. Whoever you are you are not supposed to be in the house," he heard Narcissa call through the door.

"Cis, it's me," Severus told her. He heard the door click, and she opened it. Her eyes were glossy from trying not to cry. He touched her cheek lightly, wiping the tears from it. She let out a shaky cry, and he cupped her face. He pushed the two back into the bathroom, shut the door, and locked the door. He turned to her.

"What is wrong?" He asked her.

"It is final, I am married," she got out. "I am married to Lucius. I am Narcissa Malfoy."

"It's fine, Cis," he told her. He stepped closer, seeing she needed him. "You may have a different name, and a different title, but you still have me. That will never change."

She nodded, and he kissed her softly. She wrapped her hands around his, and his body pushed against hers. She felt his mouth trying to open hers, and she pulled away slightly.

"We can't do this, not today."

"Why not?"

"Today is my wedding day, and you are not my groom!" She reminded him. He ran his right index finger along her jaw to her chin.

"You don't want to sleep with someone that you actually care about?"

"I care about him," she replied, shocked he had said that.

"Not as much as you do about me, because if you did you never would have agreed to the affair. I can see you need me tonight, and I am not going anywhere unless you tell me otherwise," he told her. He pressed his lips to her shoulder, and she shuttered. Her hand trembled, scared she would give into him again.

He could see this in her eyes, and kissed her again. His hand reached out for her hand and wrapped his fingers around hers. He felt her thoughts drift away as her hand pushed across his chest, and then to his neck. He lifted her, and rested her on the sink. He quickly grabbed her thigh, and pushed up her wedding dress.

After their second round, he finally pulled away from her. Her chest was heaving, and her hair distraught. She kissed him lightly, and stepped away from him. She looked in the mirror and began fixing her hair. She heard him zipping his pants, and she looked down. Ashamed that she let this happen on her wedding day.

"Lucius deserves better than me," she barely got past her lips.

"Is that truly what you think?" Severus asked her.

She looked at him. "We haven't been married for more than 3 hours and I have already had a 4 week affair, so yes."

He crossed over to her, and pushed her hair out of her face. His hand fell back to his side. "Did you ever stop to think that maybe you deserve better than Lucius?"

"What do you mean?"

"He says he loves you, but when you ask something of him he won't do it. I know it is a promise I could never make, because I don't know if I could keep it. You deserve someone that keeps their promises."

"But Lucius does love me, I just don't think he knows how to show love correctly."

"He loves the Dark Lord more, Narcissa," Snape said.

"He fears the Dark Lord, and loves what the Dark Lord stands for. There is a difference, Severus."

Severus shook his head lightly. "You are still holding on to him somewhat, thinking he will change. He won't. He would walk over your corpse for a place by the Lords side, and you know it."

She bit her lip knowing it true. "I know that is more than likely to be true, but I can't help but hold on to him. I am so scared I will grow to hate him more! I don't want to be stuck with someone in marriage the rest of my life that I can't bare to be with at all. Can you blame me?"

He shook his head. "Of course not." He sighed, and leaned against the wall. "I just-"

"Narcissa!" They heard her father calling from inside the house.

Narcissa looked in the mirror quickly, trying to look as much as she did before leaving the reception. She tucked her hair behind her ear, and used her ring finger to quickly wipe makeup that had transferred underneath her eyes.

"Don't come out for another ten minutes," she warned Severus. He nodded slightly.

She walked out of the bathroom, shutting the door behind her. She walked down the hall just as her name was called once more. Her father took her hand, after she apologized to him for leaving the party, and dragged her back to the tent.

She forced herself a smile as she saw Lucius, who scoped her up and kissed her once more. Her lips not wanting to open, wanting to keep Severus's taste in them. When she pulled away, she smiled forcibly, and flicked his nose. He scrunched his nose, and chuckled. Though she didn't want to marry him, he was still a very good friend of hers and she liked messing him with a small mannerism like that.

She sat beside him as the feast started, and watched as Severus reentered the tent, and sat beside Lucius. She felt her heart drop.

What if Lucius were to find out about their affair? What would he do? How would he react? She took a shaky breath, and smoothed down her dress. She didn't want to hurt Lucius, and she knew if he ever knew it would break him. She knew very well it would turn him violent, more than he already was. She was thankful he cared for her to much to ever harm, but if he knew of her and his best friends betrayal? Would he resort to hurting the only woman he ever loved?

She swallowed her fear, even as Lucius took her hand under the table; like he did whenever they sat near each other. This small touch reassured her it would be fine, and let the little flick of love she still had for him show through. She loved this small touch; it wasn't ever harsh as his usual touches were, but as gentle as ever. Something could never grow tired of because it reminded her why she was with him in the first place and how she could never intentionally hurt him.


	6. Chapter 6

**November 1****st****, 1981**

Chapter Six

Narcissa was sitting beside Lucius with Draco bouncing in her arms. She cooed at him with a wide smile, and could see she was so happy to have a child in her life. Draco grabbed ahold of her finger, and she chuckled lightly. He giggled at the sight of his mothers' happiness.

"Can you please shut him up?" Lucius snapped from behind his book.

Narcissa face dropped, and she carried Draco into his nursery. She sat in the rocking chair, and continued to play with Draco.

Her mind drifted to her life. She hadn't seen Severus in months, and hadn't been with him in almost two years. She was now a mother, and had to be there for her family. Severus had left the choice up to her to continue the affair, but she knew the subtext; he didn't want to share her. She took the hint and left him. She tried to sort things out with Lucius, but the man she fell in love with was no longer there. It concerned her of what could happen in the future. It wasn't that Lucius didn't love her, she knew that, but he treated her different. He treated her like a second priority.

She wouldn't lie. She felt awful for having cheated on Lucius, but she didn't love him. She would have never married him. If she was married to someone she loved, she would remain faithful.

She played with the bright eyed boy until there was a tapping at her window. She set Draco in his crib, and opened the window. Narcissa grabbed the letter, and flipped it open.

'_Cis,_

_Please come to my house. It is urgent._

_Your Half-Blood Prince'_

Was all the note read. She ran out of Draco's nursery and back into the sitting room.

"Lucius," she said. "I have to go out-"

"Why?" He asked setting down his book.

"Severus… Something happened. I don't know what, but he wished to speak with me."

"Why? You two barely talk anymore?"

Narcissa hesitated. "I don't know," she admitted. She found it rather odd he was trying to contact her after all this time. "But I assume if he did, it is important."

"Fine. Go."

"Don't wait up for me," she said. She threw on her cloak, and rushed out of her home. She apparted to Snippers End.

She knocked on his door, and waited for the answer in the dark. After a few seconds he answered, his eyes puffy and glossed over. He didn't say a word as he walked back into his house. She entered, and shut the door.

She followed him into his bedroom, and he poured himself a glass of gin and took the whole glass in in one gulp. He threw a punch into the closet wall, leaving a hole, and making her jump. He slumped against it.

"Severus what is going on?"

"The Dark Lord is gone," he told her.

"Gone?"

"Dead." Her face lit up.

"What? That is magnificent news!" She said with glee, knowing her husband would now be from under his command, and may go back to how he was before he had been taken under Voldemort's wing. That he would actually care for her again, and that she could care for him again. She didn't think she could ever love him again, not after knowing Severus's touch, but she would at least like to care for him.

"Dumbledore thinks he will come back though, we don't know when," he barely got out. He poured himself another glass.

"There is more?"

"James and Lily died last night. She was protecting Harry… And she died for him… She's gone." He slammed down the next glass, just like the first.

"Oh, Severus," she said with tears in her eyes. She found it hard to hold her emotions around him. "I'm so sorry."

"It's not your fault, Narcissa," he said with a gloom look. She sat walked over to him.

"Why did you ask me over?" She asked.

"I need to feel real, and something other than pain. I need to feel you."

"You need me to numb you," she said. They hadn't seen each other in almost two years, because of the pregnancy and birth of Draco. She had been trapped in a world she no longer wanted, with no outlet. Only surviving on the life of her son. The glimmer of hope, she just momentarily had, had passed.

"Please, Narcissa. I know, since you've had Draco, you have been trying to work things out with Lucius. And I know I told you we couldn't see each other anymore, but I know the truth though. I know you don't love him-"

"I don't love you either," she shot. "We are just mindless drugs for each other."

"I know. I need this drug, now more than ever," he said, and began to cry. It broke her heart to see him like this. She walked over to him.

"I will do this, if you promise me one thing." She lifted his chin.

"What's that?"

"You never leave me abandoned like you did when you found out I was pregnant with Lucius's child."

"I promise."

She kissed him with anger, and he stumbled backward, and fell into his couch.

When they finished, Narcissa was laying beside him on the couch. They lay silently, trying to breathe correctly, for several minutes. Severus's finger twirled her hair, and was satisfied for his current high.

Finally, after his high came down, he was surfacing back to reality. So was she.

"The boy lived," Snape said, calling Narcissa back to reality. "I am to protect him."

"Protect the prophecy?" She said, looking up at him. "Are you mental, Severus? That will get you nowhere, but killed!" She sat up, so she was higher than him.

"I will get her vengeance! Her death won't have been in vain!" He argued.

"It won't be! He is alive. His life is proof her death wasn't in vain! But a spy? Don't, I beg of you!"

"Did I say anything about being a spy?" He said.

"I know you to well Severus, and I know Dumbledore just the same! I know that where it is heading!"

"I don't have a choice; I made a promise to Dumbledore! But you can't tell!"

"Why, on Earth, would I tell? I could never cause your death!" She sighed heavily, and held her tears in her eyes. "You can't do this."

"I have to. I will be starting a job at Hogwarts this next year."

"You are going to leave me," she said. She pulled herself off him, and grabbed her dress from the floor. "You tricked me!"

"No! When I am not there I will there anytime you call. We can write, if you want… I know it's not the same, but I can still help you through that. And you help me."

She stopped what she was doing, and looked up to him. "A-alright."

**A/N: Sorry, a lot had to be cut because of the new smut policy…. *mumbles angerly***


	7. Chapter 7

**June 7****th****, 1996**

Chapter Seven

"Narcissa, what is it?" Severus asked as she walked up to his home. He allowed her to enter, and shut the door.

"It's Lucius he is in Azkaban for trying to steal the prophecy. They know he is a Death Eater. His trail is Monday."

"I've heard," he said. "I thought you would be happy."

"I am happy he is gone, but not that our family name is now slaughtered."

He sighed, and sat down. She moved over to him, and sat on his lap. His arm wrapped around her waist, and held onto her hands.

"He is in there, and all I care about is our family name," she said. "How did I grow to hate him so much… what was it, 23 years ago? I loved him more than air. Now I feel nothing at all for him."

"I know. If you did, we would have never started our affair," he said, kindly.

She shifted in his lap, and rested her head against his chest. "Maybe-" she stopped, trying to get the courage to say it out loud. "Maybe now we can be together."

"I believe, we are already together," he said.

"That's not what I meant. Oh, forget I mentioned it."

"What is it?" He asked. She lifted her head, and looked at him.

"I've just waited for you for so many years… It's doesn't matter though, it is a foolish thought." She touched his face lightly. "Do you regret us? Regret what we've been doing for so many years?"

His face dropped. "Of course not. I could never imagine my life without you, Narcissa." She nodded, and rested her head against his. Those words were all she needed. All the lies to her husband and to her son. Deceiving her family, and friends.

"You are my drug, Severus. You are all I need," she whispered. "You are what keeps me going, and keeps me from breaking." He took a deep breath, breathing her in. She closed her eyes. "Intoxicate me," she whimpered. His hand moved up her skirt, and she let a shaky breath out, which hit his face. She looked into his eyes, and fell into his touch.

**A/N: Sorry, I know it is really short. This is more of a fluff chapter than anything. I have been really busy, and FF. net has been giving me some problems with signing in (hence why it took so long to post). I really want to transfer this to my AO3 page, but I have no bloody clue how to do that. I hope you enjoyed it though! Oh! Also I changed my user name from svu4vr to ApplesandAlways. It works for my Harry Potter fandom, as well as Castle. **


	8. Chapter 8

**July 1****st****, and July 2****nd****, 1996**

Chapter Eight

Severus let go of Narcissa's hand, and she slowly drew in it in close to herself. He could feel Bellatrix's breath beating on his neck. He could see the want in Narcissa's eyes, and couldn't help but feel be had lied to her. He watched as a tear rolled down her cheek.

She smiled. "Thank you, Severus," she said. By him making this vow, it showed her show much more than an affair with him. He cared for her wellbeing, and her family.

He wanted to reach out and tell her everything. Not only that, but he wanted to take her right there. He could tell she wanted it too.

"Well," Bellatrix said. "We should be leaving. Come on, Cissy."

"Right," she said, pulling herself out of her haze. "Goodbye, Severus," she said in almost a whisper. They began heading out, and she felt Severus's familiar hand grip her wrist.

"Can you give us a second, Bella," he told her. He pulled Narcissa back into the room, and she gasped. He slammed the door shut behind her, and kissed her. She pulled away; surprised he was willing to do such a thing so close to where they could be caught. "Meet me at The Leaky Caldron at midnight," he whispered. She nodded quickly, and gave him a peck on his lips.

"I really have to be going," she told him. He stepped away from her, and she opened the door. She saw her sister standing on the other side, with a confused look. "Come on, Bella."

Narcissa stood outside The Leaky Caldron, waiting for Severus. She bundled in her jacket. The rain from earlier in the day had chilled the night air heavily. She heard a crack, and looked over. She saw Severus standing a few feet away. She ran over to him, making sure they were both unseen.

"Grab my hand," he told her. She followed his in instruction, and grabbed a hold of his wrist. She noticed he was carrying his broom in his free hand.

They were sent spiraling through the air, and landed in front of green pastor. A pond lay on the other side of the greens. They were standing on a dirt road, with a pub to the left of them. She could hear the laughter from inside.

"Where are we?" She asked him.

"Ireland, "he informed her.

"I-Ireland?" She asked with wide eyes. "Why in bloody hell are we in Ireland?"

"I needed to talk, away from prying eyes."

"We couldn't do that in your home?"

He smirked. "Not with Wormtail there, and I wanted to take you out."

"Take me out… Like on a date?" She asked.

"I guess," he said. "I really just need to tell you something, before we go."

"What's that?"

He stopped, and tried to remember how he worded it before he came. "It's about the vow that I made you." She smiled lightly. "I meant everything I said, but you need to know… Dumbledore is dying, already. He knew about what The Dark Lord set Draco to do. But he doesn't want Draco's soul to be blackened because of him. Dumbledore made me promise to take his life so Draco wouldn't. But even if he hadn't I would have agreed to it for you. I would have never changed my mind."

She was barely smiling now, but her eyes were gleaming. "I know you would have, Severus. You don't need to explain that to me. I would tell you to thank Dumbledore, but then he would know you told me."

"Yes." He grabbed her hand. "Thank you so much for understanding."

"That's what I am here for."

"Alright. Let's go," he said. He began dragging her hand, and started down the hill.

"We aren't going to the pub," she said, surprised.

"Did you want to?"

She listened, and heard a crash. Cheering followed it. "Not really," she answered, simply.

He led her to a large boulder that was half all the way down the pasture, just before the land fell off into the water. He turned behind the boulder, and set his broom down. He looked over to Narcissa, and kissed her sweetly. Her arms melted around his neck. Finally, he pulled away.

"Do you trust me?" He asked her.

"Of course."

"Alright," he smiled. "Walk over to the ledge."

"What?"

"Just do it."

She walked over to the ledge, cautiously. She stuck her head out, and looked down. The drop beneath her was nearly 100 plus yards. She couldn't help but get an overwhelming anxiety she would fall.

"Jump," he said. She turned to him.

"Have you gone completely mental! I am not jumping."

He smiled, knowing she would refuse. He walked over to her, and touched her waist. "Trust me, Naricssa. I won't let you die." She saw the honesty in his eyes. Slowly she turned around.

"Can… Can you jump with me?" She asked. She heard him laugh, and grabbed her hand.

"Or course." He gripped her hand. "On three. One."

"Two."

"Three."

They stepped off the ledge, and her eyes shot open. She looked over to Severus, who was laughing. She gripped his hand even tighter, and felt a scream rip from her lungs. She felt a pole like thing move beneath her, and he turned towards her. They quickly began slowly down, and came to a stop just above the water. She was looking at the fluid under her, and her breathing was heavy. She looked up to him, and began laughing.

"You are mad," she got out.

"Probably," he said. She reached down, and dipped her fingers into the cold water. She laughed slightly, and looked around. She could see a lighthouse off in the distance, making the water glimmer with its light. She could see every star.

"It's so beautiful out here."

"It is."

She looked back to him. "Why did you take me out here?"

"When I made that promise to you, I don't know why but something in me realized something. I know you know the general facts about me, but I want to show you who I am. You are all I have. Everyone else is gone, and I have been holding back. I don't want to do that anymore, not with you. I don't want it just to be sex anymore."

"Then don't let it be. Don't hold back," she said. Her mind couldn't help but wonder what he hadn't been telling her.

"My grandmother first took me out here when I was 5. She told me to do the same thing, and I did. It was how I learned to fly, before I even went to Hogwarts. This was her favorite place to be. It is where she met her true love, in that pub over there… She would tell me stories of him, and how she wished she'd been with him instead of who her family chose for her. She always regretted having to leave him." He took a shaky breath. "She killed herself jumping off this cliff."

"Oh Severus," she said, not knowing how to respond.

"I was 10 when she did it. I never told anyone, ever, because it hurt to much. She raised me, while my parents were to busy fighting." His eyes filled with sadness.

"Thank you for sharing this," she said quietly. She couldn't help but feel for his grandmother, like the two shared a similar story.

"Thank you for listening." He shook his head from the memory. "Do you want to go up higher?" He asked her.

"I would love to," she said.

"You might want to get on properly then," he told her.

Slowly she turned around, and scooted back into him. He wrapped his arms around her waist, made her lean forward, and gripped his broom. He rested his head on her shoulder, and she gripped his hands. He tilted the broom upward, and sent them flying into the air. It'd been so long since she'd ridden a broom, she almost forgot how it felt. They flew high in the sky, nearly 400 feet up.

They could see the land stretch out forever, with small flickering lights all over. The moonlight was lighting the tops of each hill and tree. They could hear the pub still, though it was faint.

"I'm speechless," she said with awe. They both were taken by the beauty.

He sat up, and allowed her too. He turned her head to his by guiding it with his hand. He caressed her lips softly, and more gentle. She lifted her hand, twisted her body, and kissed him back. Now knowing this was more than just a release now, that this was exactly where she wanted to be.


	9. Chapter 9

**Sorry it has been so long, here have two chapters… (Especially, because this one is so short). Also, sorry if I have been spelling apparated wrong.**

**September 1****st****, 1997**

Chapter Nine

The sheets were ran between their legs, as their legs laced in each other's. Still panting. Still coming back to the world.

"I don't want you to go back," she said. He rubbed her hair down.

"Me either," he admitted. "I wish I didn't have to finish this, but it has to be done. It hine time Harry finds out the truth."

"You are going to tell him?"

"I have to… If he doesn't embrace death there is no way this battle will be won."

"I hope he can do this. End all of this suffering for everyone. Put our world at peace."

"Me too."

"I still don't want you to go," she repeated.

He looked at the wall clock. "I should be going," he said taking in the time. "I don't want to miss the train." He got out of his bed, and began getting dress. She sat up.

"I don't want to go home," she said, dreading all who was there.

"With The Dark Lord there, and from what I saw the other day, I don't blame you. If only you could stay here, in safety. But Lucius would come looking for you."

"I know." She began helping him button his shirt. She kissed him quickly. "I should get dressed too. Lucius will be up soon and wondering where I am."

She put on her dress quickly, and put up her hair into a neat French Twist. She followed Severus to his front door. They shared another kiss.

"See you at Hogsmeade," she told him. "I-" she cut herself of, and dropped her jaw.

"You, what?" He questioned.

Her jaw moved, trying to form words. The only thing that came out was; "Nothing. You-you should be going." He apparated from the room, with his luggage in hand.

She leaned against the his wall, as the realization hit her. She almost told him she loved him, and she had never even thought of the idea. She ran through her mind, trying to figure if she did. It was the only answer she could come up with to explain her feelings.

But that word nearly killed her. She couldn't love him. He loved Lily. He could never love her.

She heard his clock go off, telling her it was seven. She knew Lucius would soon be up, expecting breakfast from her. She looked around Severus's house once more, and left.


	10. Chapter 10

**October 25****th****, 1997**

Chapter Ten

Severus made his way into Hogmeade. The eager children running past him. Ecstatic for a little freedom. He wanted to give them this last trip of freedom before he would be forced to put the school on lock down. Though he had another motive for the trip. He looked up, searching for Narcissa's owl to tell him where to meet her.

Narcissa let the owl free from her hand, and watched it fly away from The Three Broomsticks. She watched as Draco entered the bar, and tried to hide her face. It didn't work though, because he knew his mothers' overcoat.

"Mother?" He asked walking up to her. She turned to him, and her face lit up. She hugged her son tightly. "Mother, you are glowing?" He said.

"I am just happy to see you, Dear," she said with a smile.

"What are you doing here?" He asked, confused.

"Oh, your father asked me to relay some very delicate messages to Severus."

"Oh," was all he said. She felt bad for lying, but knew he didn't want to know what Death Eater business was to be told.

"How are you, Darling?"

"Okay, they are really cracking down on the school. More than I wanted to… They are hitting some of the other kids, and most couldn't even come today."

"How terrible."

"Yea…"

"Are you alright?"

"I'm fine, just a bit lost at the moment."

"Draco!" Goyle called out. "Come here, you Mommy's Boy!"

"I better get."

"Me too," she said. "Have fun." She kissed his forehead, which earned a roaring laugh from his friends. She left the pub, and began making her way to the destination she told her love to meet her at.

She walked to the abandoned cottage. Since the war was on the horizon people were fleeing from being so close to Hogwarts. The cottage was of someone who had a bit of wealth, and wasn't wood walls. They were an ivory colour with matching furniture. The kitchen and sitting room were attached. She could see two bedrooms, and a bathroom.

She heard the door open, and she turned to face it. She watched as Severus walked in. He shut the door, and turned when he heard a deep exhale. He walked over to her.

"I've missed you so much," he told her. She let out a breathy laugh, and he rested his head on hers.

"I've missed you too… More than I think you know."

"What do you mean?"

She didn't want to answer him, at least not at the moment. She began taking off his clothing, distracting him from his question. She gripped to his skin, and he started at her black dress. Once both their clothes were off, she lifted his head. She enclosed her mouth around his with love and lust. His arms wrapped around her frame, and lifted her to his hips. She wrapped her arms around his neck, reassuring herself she wouldn't fall.

His lips on hers were hungry. He pushed her into the wall, and she broke the kiss. A breath pushed out of her from the impact. His hand moved upward, pushing her arms above her head, and stopped at her elbows. His mouth attached to her neck and kissed with need. As he thrust into her she let an almost silent pant. His hands moved to her waist, gripping it to guide her. Her arms draped back on his shoulders. He moved into her once more, and both let out a harsh moan.

"Don't tease me, Severus," she whispered. He smiled and leaned in for another kiss. Before their lips could fully meet he moved inside her more.

"Oh," they cried out simultaneously. His movement grained rhythm, and so did their screams. They were under no circumstances quiet, as they rarely ever were. Certainly students passing by could hear, but they did not care.

When they finished, they were covered in sweat, and looking into each other's eyes. He let her legs down one at a time, making sure she was stable. Her hands slipped off him.

"Well, hello," she whispered. He began laughing, and she joined. Both their chest were still heaving. "I'm-" she shook her head, calling back reality. Or what the reality was at the moment. "I'm going to run a bath, do you want to join?"

"Sure."

He pushed himself off her, and she wrapped herself in her jacket. She began preparing the bathwater, while he just watched her aimlessly. When she stopped the water, she turned and leaned against the door frame.

"What?" she asked with a smile. "Is my hair a tatter?" She quickly put it up into a bun.

"No, it's not that… There is just something different about you. I don't know what though," he said.

She opened her mouth to speak, but stopped before the wrong words came out. Her thoughts stopped running. She lifted herself from the door frame, straightened her back, and tilted her head.

"Are you going to come in here, or are you going to let the water get cold?"

He stood, and walked over to her. He sunk into the hot water, and sighed at the pleasure. His body was aching. He looked over to her as she once again disrobed herself.

"Come here, my beauty," he said. He never forgot to remind her of how beautiful he still thought she was.

She stepped over the edge of the tub, and submerdged herself in it. She rested her back against Severus's chest. His arms smoothed over her chest, and her arms embraced his. She rested head against his, and tried to escape her mind. It was hard when her drug was now affecting every aspect of her reality. She closed her eyes, and tried to forget it, just for the moment.

She tried to let the water, and his touch, take her. Let her drift away in this sea of bliss. She felt his lips against hers again, and his hand cupped her breast. She melted into his kiss, and turned towards him more. Trying to let it once again cloud her mind like it had just mere minutes ago. This time it couldn't, she knew she would have to tell him. She pulled away from, and squeezed her eyes shut.

"Is everything alright? You are acting very unlike you."

"I'm fine…" She said with a nod. She opened her eyes. "Sort of. I don't know. I'm really confused, and conflicted. I just don't know what to do anymore."

"What are you talking about?"

She bit her lip slightly, and gave the weakest smile she could manage. It's not that she was happy, but she was terrified of it. Worried that her actions were catching up to her.

"I'm pregnant, Severus," she finally confessed. His eyes grew wide, and mouth fell open. He stayed silent. "You're the father," she added. He still didn't say a word, and fear bubbled in her. Her eyes flickered across his face, looking for his response. "Say something."

"Can… Can I just think?"

"O-" she held back tears. "Of course." She turned away from his face, and rested against his chest. Her jaw was quivering, and silent tears rolled down her cheeks. Her hands moved from his arms, and settled on her stomach. Her eyes closed, and once again tried to let the water take her to a distant place. His touch was not her drug anymore, but her love and pain.

After a few more minutes, he finally spoke. His words were not what she wanted to hear. "I'm getting out," was all he said.

She pushed herself off him, and watched him step out of the tub. Her hands gripped the edge of the tub, and turned her face away from him as he looked at her. She made sure her tears stopped before looking back up. When she saw him he was dry, and wrapped in a towel.

"You going to get out?" He asked. She lifted her hand, and he helped her from the tub. He picked up another towel, and she stood almost numb as he began drying her off. She felt the dry fabric running across her, but her mind was so far from what was going on.

She felt foolish for believing he wanted her to bear his child. Foolish for falling into his bed so many times. Foolish for falling in love with him. Her heart now torn between her hopes and reality. All she could do was watch blind as they collided full speed.

She had more to think of now then just herself, and her wants. She now had to think of what was best for her unborn child. Was Severus right? Was he fit? She couldn't help but feel she felt this way because he didn't react the way she had hoped he would. That she was only considering such an act because he wasn't happy.

His hand finally touched her stomach, and she pulled away from him. She rushed past him, and quickly began putting her clothes back on. At first, he didn't know how to react, but then he walked over to her.

"Narcissa, what the hell is wrong with you?"

"You don't want this baby. It's fine. I get it," she got out as she zipped her dress. She refused to make eye contact with him. She grabbed her deep purple waist belt, and began putting it on. He grabbed her wrist, and stopped her.

"I never said I didn't want our baby," he said.

"Really? Because you sure as hell are acting like it," she snapped. She eyes now shot at him.

"How am I acting like it? Because I didn't say anything? I am trying to figure out how we can do this! No one can know that it's my child."

She sighed with relief. "I know no one can. The thing is though, Lucius will know. I am only 8 week along, and we haven't slept together since before he was sent to Azkaban."

"There is no way you could play it off as though he is," he said. "I wouldn't want you too."

They fell silent.

"Leave him," he suggested. She pulled her head back.

"And then what, runaway? And become your mistress, and leave my son?" She shot. "Think rationally, Severus. He will take Draco away from me. I couldn't take that."

"You're right. It was just a thought." He sat down on the couch. "What are we going to do?"

"I don't know," she said, almost defeated. "Now do you see why I am so conflicted?" He reached out for her hand, and their laced their fingers. She sat beside him, and set her head on his shoulder.

"I'm so excited about being a father," he told her. She smiled to him.

"Are you?"

"Yes." She looked to him, and he had a large grin. She put her legs over his, and grew egger.

"What do you hope the sex is?" She said with a sparkle in her eye.

He thought for a moment. "A girl."

"A girl?"

"Yes."

"And what would her name be?"

"I don't know," he said. "Let me think." He ran through his thoughts quickly. "Laetitia," he finally said.

"Joy?" she questioned. Making sure her Latin was correct. He raised his eyebrow.

"You know Latin?" He asked.

"A little. I do love that name though."

"And you, if it was a girl?"

She sighed, and thought of a second. "Amoris."

His face grew serious. "Love?"

"Yes," she replied shortly. "Or maybe Hyrda, or Lyra."

"I like Lyra."

His hand left hand her messaged her leg, and with his right moved from her dancing fingers to her stomach.


	11. Chapter 11

**November 5****th****, 1997**

Chapter Eleven

Narcissa sat in front of the fire place with the note in her hand. Her black barn owl perched on the window in the other side of the room. The newest letter from Severus, and all she could do was smile at his words.

She stood, and began walking to her study. Her feet were fast, and the house was dark. She bumped into someone.

She huffed, and looked up. "Sorry," she said before seeing who it was. She took in notice that it was Lord Voldemort. "I'm so sorry, my Lord," she began apologizing even more.

"It is fine, Narcissa," he told her. "Be careful of where you going." He was standing no less than a foot from her.

"Of course, my Lord."

"Do you know where your sister is? I have some matters I would like to discuss."

"Uh," she said. It made her uncomfortable being so close to him. "N-No. Last I saw of her she was in the den." Without another word he walked off. His presence in her home was almost unbearable. She hated him being there.

She shook her thoughts, and began to the task she set out for. She stopped in front of her study when she saw the light peering out from underneath the door. Slowly she opened the door, and saw Lucius at her desk. She felt her heart fall even more as she saw he was sitting in front of Severus letters. She rushed over to them, and tried to take the letters from the table.

He gripped her wrist, making her deeply inhale from pain. He took the stack of letters in his other hand, as he stood. His face was stone as he looked at her. If she thought being so close to Lord Voldemort scared her, she had been mistaken. He pushed her away and began walking towards the door.

"You are having an affair," he stated. She ran over to him, and struggled to retrieve her love letters. "And your pregnant with his child," he got out, as she grasped for the letters.

"Give me those," she told him. Her fingers wrapped around the letters, but still came back empty handed.

"Who is the Half-Blood Prince?" He asked. Severus had always signed it that in case a situation like this ever happened.

"I will never tell you," she shot. She tried once more for her letters. "Give me them!?" She demanded. He turned around, and she reached around him for her letters. They were all she had of Severus while he was in school. The only thing she had while the two people she loved were gone.

He growled, and pushed her off him, and threw her to the ground. "Get off me, filthy whore," he spat. She hit the ground with a harsh thud, and instantly felt a sharp pain in her stomach. "You want them so bad, here." He threw the letters down at her. "No one is to know of your whoring, and how you have corrupted this family. I don't want you to ruin my family name." He left the room.

She sat herself up from the ground, and gripped her abdomen. She let out a shaky, uneasy, breath. Another stabbing pain ran through her, and she leaned forward letting out a call of pain. She felt underneath her suddenly wet.

"No," she whispered to herself. She reached for her wand, and found that it wasn't in her holster. She tried to think through the pain of where she left it. Carefully, she pulled herself off the ground, and saw a pool of blood from where she had just been sitting. She couldn't believe this was happening.

She tried to, as quickly as she could, to make it to her bedroom. Every few steps she would have to stop because the pain was to overwhelming. Her hair, which was fully down, was sticking to her face from what she believed was sweat. She could only imagine she had a fever.

Finally, she reached her room. She moved over to her dresser, and reached out for her wand. She felt her world spinning around her, and then the ground was taken from underneath her. She collapsed to the ground, and waited as everything around her went black.


End file.
